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On Seeking

Someone recently wrote to me to ask my view on seeking. He also said that as far as liberation goes, there are some people he considers ‘authorities’ on the subject, he mentioned Ramana and Adi Da. My reply to him is below.

Here are my opinions and view on seeking. The end of seeking means the end of looking in any book for some authority to tell me about my own experience. Those books are over for me, that Buddha is dead. The end of seeking means the end of the idea that I lack something and Ramana or Adi Da, or anyone else, has it. The end of seeking means the end of needing some kind of new state or experience that is extraordinary. That desire or need, in itself, is bondage. I had many incredible mystical experiences when I was on the path, they mean nothing to me now.

The end of seeking is the end of philosophizing. It is the end of trying to achieve, attain or understand something about life or enlightenment by reading, watching, etc. Using the mind to philosophize and mentally understand is not freedom.

The end of seeking is the end of endless becoming. Here and now, as I am, is freedom—ordinary consciousness, Sat Chit Ananda, 

It is not Ramana, it is not Adi Da, and if I am honest, I must say I have no idea their experience of consciousness. Ramana and Adi Da are only thoughts in my own mind. They are not truth. And if I am even more honest, I must say those thoughts are incomplete and false. They are colored by desire and feelings of lack and unworthiness, which place them on an impossibly high pedestal. All of this is ego and does not touch truth.

On the other hand, I am truth. As long you look to anyone else as an authority, you will compare and find yourself lacking in some way. I am not lacking.

Many years ago, I used to read a lot of spiritual books. Freedom is not in any of them. In fact, I would say the opposite is true. Continuously reading those books will keep you comparing your current experience with some conceptual ideal, and you will find yourself lacking. This will propagate seeking forever. In my opinion and experience, for almost everyone, a real, living teacher, is needed. 

A real teacher will chop your head off. In the head, are all spiritual concepts gleaned from reading spiritual books and from other cultural, religious and societal samskaras (mental impressions). They are never-ending and never resolving,  The head contains the belief that someone else is an authority on you. And because of all of the reading, the mind believes it is lacking something and so naturally continues seeking, usually forever. But you are not lacking and you are not seeking. It is only mind that appears to be seeking.

I don't care to attain anything because of any perceived lack. I don't compare myself with anyone. So then, what is there to seek? What more can I want or need?

 


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