Posted 31 May 2015 by Sal
It is taking me a while to "get it" so to speak. The more I recognize awareness, the more I see more opportunities to do it. I don't really know sometimes if I am doing it "right." All I know to do is just relax my mind from having opinions about everything that happens and stop getting caught up in my thoughts and emotions. I trust that if I keep on (and at this point, I could never turn back anyway), I will finally see my true nature.
Thank you for writing. Every time you stop and notice that you are aware, you are noticing your essential nature. We have been taught to believe that it will look like something—bliss, god, energy, silence, ecstasy, magic powers, or whatever else. No wonder it is so hard for us to accept the utter simplicity and obviousness of what we are. We are looking for something so grand, when in fact, it just looks like whatever is in this moment.
That simple recognition is not only the doorway to the kingdom, it is the kingdom. You will come to know that more and more. That is why the suggestion is to just keep coming back to that simple recognition, again and again. All true teachers offer this same recommendation. No need to worry about having opinions. I have opinions too. That is just what mind does. It's a total relief not to care about what this crazy mind is going to come up with next.
Do you know what freedom is? It is not a state. It is just a doubtless knowing that you are free. That's all. And that will come about naturally by continuing to abide as your aware nature, even when opinions arise. If it was a state, then it couldn't be freedom, your essential nature, because all states change and all states arise and disappear. So, how can we depend on those and why should we give them undue importance?
As long as you are looking for a state, even if it is very subtle, like silence or peace, you overlook that you are already free, and you are always present, through all states. Check that out for yourself and see that you are always present, no matter what appears. That is how you will come to know that you are free.
Thanks, and there is so much in your response. I see now that I was doing things that I didn't really realize. I forgot that I don't have to worry or give any thought to opinions…
I have searched for many years (20+) for a teaching that would deliver me from fear. I have been looking for something that would banish fear from my life, only THEN would I feel free, only THEN would I know real freedom. I want to walk the earth completely fearless and help others. It seems now that this goal is not possible. Maybe it is about not fearing fear. I don't know. As I sit here writing this, I notice that I am aware and that awareness is not afraid, but something seems to be. Well, I feel that things will take care of themselves as I keep coming back to recognizing that I am aware.
It sounds to me like you are doing fine. I completely understand when you say, "I have been looking for something that would banish fear from my life, only THEN would I feel free, only THEN would I know real freedom." We have all been taught to believe that if we achieve the ultimate set of never-ending-perfect-conditions, we will be free. We are told that the currently existing conditions indicate we are not free. But as I know you know, that set of never-ending- perfect-conditions will never come. Nevertheless, you are always here, eternally, through all conditions. As you noticed, there is something that seems to be afraid, and you are aware of that. I think you can trust that by continuing just as you are doing, with full commitment to your essential, aware nature, all is and will be fine.
Here is an inquiry to try. Remember back to when you were young—twelve, seven, or five. In a very relaxed way, remember yourself back then and see yourself looking out of those young eyes. Remember a scene from your childhood from your perspective. Place yourself there. Try it now.
It was you looking, exactly as you are looking now. But, every cell in the body has died and been replaced by new ones. So, that means this must be a completely different body from the one back then. How can that be? Because you must not be the body. So then, who are you?
You are eternal, aware, that which has been watching your whole life's events, including the growing and changing of the body. You are here then and you are here now and you are here many years from now when the body is old. You have been enjoying the show the whole time. But the show is so convincing, we come to believe we are the show.
Just keep trusting in your eternal, aware nature. This is where your perfect health and fearlessness lie.